The PUNkin Patch
I asked the demonites to tell some spooky jokes. Whether you’ve heard or seen these elsewhere, I’m crediting the actual participant. Jokes that had more than one contributor are credited to Chatty.
What’s a skeletons favorite meal?
Spare ribs. - Ogre
What’s a ghost’s favorite desert?
I scream. - Ogre
What’s a ghost’s favorite tag?
Boo-cakey. - Chatty
A man went to see his therapist for the first time. The therapist asked him a series of questions. When they were done the therapist briefly left the room and returned with a large pumpkin. The therapist said, "Mister I'm going to need you to sit on this." The man asked him why. The therapist replies, "Because you're off your gourd." - RM
Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts. - PsychopathicTurtle
Why did the ghost go to the bar?
To get boos. - Ogre
Why do mummies make the best directors?
Cause that’s a wrap. - Chatty
Extra doesn’t like ghosts? Was he boolied by one?
Yeah the experience haunts him. - Chatty
What do you call a witch with a rash?
An itchy-witchy. - Ogre
What does a witch call their garage?
A broom closet. - RM
What do werewolves need to get beach ready?
A waxing moon. - RM
What kind of ghost haunts Lucy’s stream?
Spectre-um. - Lirio
What’s Lucy’s favorite type of bee?
BOO-bees. - Ogre
Wife takes husband to the doctor. Doctor immediately diagnoses husband with zombieism. The wife says, “That was so fast! How did you know?” The doctor replies, “It’s a no-brainer.” - Lirio
What do you call it when your dad leaves for milk?
Getting ghostdad. - RM
Never knew my dad, I’m pretty sure he’s dead. My mom would only say he boned and ghosted. - Lirio
What’s a ghost’s favorite pizza?
Tombstone. - Chatty
Do you know why everyone hates vampire puns?
Cuz they suck. - Nahahalin
Why are skeletons the best gamblers?
They can really throw them bones. - Lirio
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789
But do you know why 7 ate 9?
Because you need 3 square meals a day. - Drax
Why did the vampire have a hole in his tongue?
He had a lisp. - Lirio
Do catgirls go to heaven?
No they’re sent straight to purrgatory. - Lirio
Did you know there’s an element that’s really good at dealing with corpses?
Yeah it’s buryem. - RM
A zombie was granted an opportunity to live again yet he refused. He was dead tired. - Nahahalin
I know what costume RM will wear. Ghost Writer. - Terry
Why are skeletons so aggressive in games?
They always have a bone to pick. - Just_Faust
When the mayor asked why the hangman let the stand-up comic live, he responded, “I like gallows humor.” - Lirio
Why did the headless horseman start his own business? To get ahead in life. - nickatnight
Did you hear about the pop singer that performs for the dead? Yeah they call her Seancé - RM
and her hit song, Danse Macabré - Terry
What’s a skeletons’s favourite board game?
Tibial Pursuit. - PsychopathicTurtle
A skeleton is on a stage telling jokes to a crowd of ghosts, but the audience is visibly displeased "Why are you boooing me???" he says in anger - Nahahalin
