Cum Barrel Production Plummets After New Prostate Exam

Shortly after installing her laser eye upgrades, Lucy Pyre unilaterally instituted a new type of laser based prostate examination. While it does appear that the occurrence of prostate problems is dropping, experts asked about the situation tell Oshi News Network that it is lower participation in examinations fueling the lower rates. Furthermore, the procedure seems to be leaving participants with burned, damaged, or even missing prostates. This has been linked to the recent 37% quarterly decline in cum barrel production, the main export of the Cringe Impyre.

It is unknown at this point how long the new examination procedure will remain in place.